Everything I learned in life, I learned from FRIENDS
- Never use ''We were on a break" as an excuse
- Remember it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy and it is a BIG deal!
- Everybody has a lobster
- Quitting the gym is just as hard as quitting the bank
- For more space in the bed, use the ''hug and roll''technique
- Yemen is a good place to escape unwanted girlfriends
- You can do a lot with just cups and ice
- Always say the right name at the altar
- Powder and lotion will not help remove hot and sticky leather trousers.
- ''man bags'' AREN'T manly
- Don't count 'mississippily' when in a tanning booth.
- ''How you doin' '' NEVER fails
- If stung by a jellyfish, pee on it.
- Never let a monkey near a TV remote.
- Only in prision do they 'cup' whilst measuring for pants
- It's not smelly cats fault
- Always read make-up letters all the way through, even if they are 18 pages FRONT AND BACK!
- You should leave your synth keyboard in the 80s where it belongs.
- A nap with your best friend could be the best nap you've ever had
- Never let slip to a child that they are in fact adopted
- Meat is not an ingredient in trifle
- There is no such thing as shark porn
- Your first name is not your family name
- Throwing your own wake is not a good way to meet women.
- A 'Day of Fun' is a good way to get to know someone.
- Everyone has an identical hand twin
- Eating too much mean can cause 'meat sweats'
- It's never too late to resurrect the routine, just don't change it.
- Regina Falange and Ken Adams make great false names.
- It's possible to drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds.
- When moving a couch upstairs, PIVOT!
- A silent auction is not a contest to guess the right price
- Always double check your measurements when making an entertainment unit
- Playing too much on arcade machines can lead to getting 'The Claw'
- Ugly, naked and guy do not make for an attractive combination
- Never pose for a V.D. poster compaign
- 'Pheebs' is short for phoebe, its not just what we call our friends.
- Never let a duck and chick near a foosball table
- Wooden spoons and toy trucks make great massaging tools.
- Never put your head in a turkey
- Taping oven mitts to your hands will prevent you from scratching chicken-pox
- Never bet your apartment in a game of 'who knows who'
- Don't leave teeth whitening gel on for longer than recommended
- W.E.N.U.S. stands for... ummmm
- Everyone is entitled to a 'freebie' list of 5 celebrities they can sleep with if the opportunity arises
- There are 7 basic erogenous zones. Start out with a little 1, a 2, a 3, a 1-2- 3, a 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7... 7... 7...7 7 7 7 7 I 7... SEVEN!
I challenge you all to pick your favorite!
